open wound

It has been two months since we broke up, but yet today, everywhere i look i am reminded of what was. My heart is stubborn and refuses to heal completely. No doubt, it tried healing, i tried doing life, i saw a shrink, i read, i woke up, i cried and did all the other mundane things that we are supposed to do in order to go onnn... But every now and then, i am reminded of your face, of your voice, of your dress, of what we once had,of your smell, of our smell, of your smoothness, of what i have lost, it is times like these when i become hopless and life becomes unbearable. The wound on my hand is healing, but my heart... well i dont know what has happned to my heart.Today i feel like there is a part of me that has not healed, that part that is still waiting and hoping that you will come back to me. I have no true understanding of where we went wrong and why we could not fix it, why you did not want to fix it.Oh why did you lure me like that? why did you lie to me and conn me like that. No i was a fool, a blind fool, a stupid, desperate fool and i hate myself for that! I hate myself so much for loving you, for thinking about you, for missing you, for crying for you,for wanting you, when i am certain that you have even forgotten my name. At this stage i wish that i had never met you, that i had no feelings and that you were never born. I love you at this stage, i miss you, at this stage and no one could ever mean to me what you still mean to me...at this stage.